The Ultimate Yes

Sacred Life Sunday ~ It's Because...

 

It's Because...

As long as I can remember it's been something I've loved.
Even when I was unsure of my body
and felt awkward and stupid
and worried about boys
and whether they would like me enough
or think I'm pretty enough
I never have to wait for someone to ask me.

It's Because...

I can go back in time and relive any memory I want to;
that first kiss, the view from the Eiffel Tower,
watching my uncle take his last breath.
My mind is the keeper of stories,
my body the vessel in which they're retold.
In an instant, I can be there again
and it's as though time has stopped and I never left.

It's Because...

I can be with the ones I've loved and lost
and have these amazing conversations.
Death does not prevent them from hearing what I have to say.
When I speak from a place where no words are needed,
we can understand one another.
Their presence is undeniably real when I'm fully present.

It's Because...

A myriad of affairs can be had
and no one gets caught or hurt
or says outloud, "What have I done?"
I can abandon all responsibility and reasonable sense
Wholeheartedly fling myself into
the welcoming arms of lust and desire
Touch the very flame that would condemn
and consume me otherwise.

It's Because...

I can look at my deepest fears,
false beliefs and disturbing thoughts
and see them for what they really are...
truth disguised as mindless chatter.
I've learned to listen to that which makes me most afraid
because more often than not
the voice is wherever Spirit is calling me forth in my life.
That voice never lies.

It's Because...

I can sit or spin or sway with God
and never fall out of step.
There's no right or wrong, condemnation or adoration
just pure and simple love.
Grace and gratitude are regular visitors
and prayers are understood.
Heaven is right here and right now.
Right here. Right now.

It's Because...

I can soar amongst the highest clouds
and travel to places I haven't yet seen.
A place where questions are asked
and answers are given through body, not brain.
I follow the pulse of my blood, the beat of my heart
and the breath of my lungs.
It's movement and music that makes me, me
and sets me free.

It's Because...all of these things and so much more.
It's Because...I dance.

Sacred Life Sunday ~ Amongst the Swirl and the Sway

"I am a dancer.  I believe that we learn by practice.  Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living...In each it is the performance of a dedicated precise set of acts, physical or intellectual, from which comes shape of achievement, a sense of one's being, a satisfaction of spirit. One becomes in some area an athlete of God."
~Martha Graham

"It is of course possible to dance a prayer."
~Glade Byron Addams

And it's possible to dance one's greatest joys.  And it's possible to dance one's deepest sorrows.  And it's possible to dance a broken heart.  And it's possible to dance a million fears.  And it's possible to dance a former lover.  And it's possible to dance a future dream.  And it's possible to dance whatever your soul and spirit needs today.

Amongst the swirl and sway of my body...something takes shape, something beyond my form.   A sense of something much more than I could ever possibly put into words.  And so I dance my prayers instead of speaking them and I know they are always heard.

Sacred Life Sunday ~ Listening to the small, still voice within

 

That small, still voice within speaks of truth and love.  It speaks gently and with compassion.  It is a constant and mysterious companion who knows me like no one else. It is more powerful than any other voice that tempts me to listen to what's not real. Every day we choose which voices to listen to.  

Today that small, still voice spoke loud and clear during dance.  It asked me this question, "Who is doing the listening?"

Oh yeah...it's me. How easily I forget.

Sacred Life Sunday ~ Returning to the Light

 

And darkness shall give way to light...Sweet Solstice it is today.  After the longest night of the year, returning to the light we shall go tomorrow. YIPPEE!  It's been a day of reflection (thinking about this past year), contemplation (pondering what's next in the New Year), organization (I'm in major decluttering mode right now) and preparation (my husband's birthday is tomorrow).

It's been a wild week weather-wise in the Pacific Northwest and even the Oregon coast wasn't spared from the so-called Artic Blast.  Making snow angels on the beach was truly a sacred and utterly delightful thing.  The photos and the memories still make me smile and bring me to a lovely place of quiet and stillness.  Happy Solstice to you!

 

Ho Ho Ho Haystack Rock!

 

Ha Ha Happy Snow Girl! 

 

Beautiful and BRRR...it's cold Beach.

   

Got skis?  

 

Yes it is!

Sacred Life Sunday ~ Before Dawn Breaks

While I wish I had had a few more hours sleep last night, I'm happy to be awake now surrounded by candlelight and the beautiful salt lamp seen here in the photo.  I'm happy today is Sunday and in just a couple of hours, I'll be dancing.  After facilitating two classes, I'll be venturing off into the woods for two days of rest and relaxation.  A couple girlfriends and I will be spending time soaking, sweating, sleeping, eating yummy food and just being.  No computers.  No cell phones.  No street lights.  No noise to disturb our retreat.  

When I get up before the light does, I often feel like I'm on retreat.  In the darkness, there is a silence and a stillness that speaks to me deeply.  I recently read an article in a previous issue of Tricycle magazine called "Commit to Sit" and I'm considering taking on their 28 day challenge of exploring meditation in a way I never have.  I know the most challenging thing won't be the sitting itself (although I do wonder how uncomfortable my body will feel sitting for 20 minutes to an hour at a time).  It will be quieting the ever-present chatter in my head. It will be acknowleding my thoughts and letting them go rather than getting all wound up in them and about them.  It will be listening to my spirit rather than my voice. I know Spirit is with me at all times, but it always seems more palpable and present just before dawn breaks.  

The light is beginning to appear now.  Candles will soon be blown out.  A shower and breakfast will be had.  A new day gently unfolds.  It doesn't take going on retreat to know how blessed I am to have another day.   It just takes a moment to say "Thank You, God."  

Sacred Life Sunday ~ The substance of string

 

I've worn the blue strands around my wrist for four months now.   When a good friend of mine tied the ends of the string together back in July at Leadership Camp, I had no idea they would still hold steadfast to my body today.  A sweet symbol of friendship has turned into an important daily spiritual reminder.  I was told that my blessing bracelet represents love and strength; two very good things to ruminate about and remember every day methinks.

This morning as I danced at our studio, I studied my hands in depth as the last two quiet songs played.  I looked at my rings and thought of my husband and my friend, Layne. I'll wear those bands of white gold and silver forever.  I was intrigued by my veins and the blood that coursed through them just underneath my skin.  I'll be of flesh and bone as long as I'm alive in this body.  And then there was the string...how long it will continue to make its home around my wrist remains to be seen.  I won't cut it away so until the strands break on their own, I'll remain adorned. 

These were just some of the thoughts I had as tears rolled gently down my face and merged with the studio's hardwood floor. Love...it is what each of us wants and needs. To love and be loved...there is no greater task, no greater reward.  Love of self.  Love of others.   It takes strength to love that which we don't understand.  Strength to continue to do what we love.  Strength to live big and fully even on those days when being smaller sounds safe and more reasonable. 

When the day comes when the blue strings break...love and strength will be the invisible bracelets I'll continue to wear. 

Sacred Life Sunday ~ It all works out

 

It was a stellar day on the Oregon coast;  85 degrees, a warm breeze and not a cloud in the sky. I began and ended my day in the same way...dancing in the sun.   I dance for a lot of different reasons and recently I've become aware of how much it restores my faith and hope in my dreams.  Next month, I will be opening up a dance and expressive arts studio with my business partner and while it thrills me to no end and it's a HUGE dream of mine being made real, it scares the beejezus out of me at times.  

It's not so much the money gremlins that keep me up at night (although it does seem at times they're having a big ol' party in my head).  It's the myriad of other fears I'm confronting on a daily basis that leave my pulse and heart racing.  I find it both dumbfounding and extremely irritating that regardless of how many times I've faced them in the past, they're STILL HERE!   When I dance, it's like grabbing a can of whup'ass and giving those fears a good spanking.  Whap...Whap...Take That!

Yesterday I invested in Apple once again and found some really fun new tunes, but the one I discovered a few weeks back is the one I keep returning to again and again. While I was in the throes of the woe-is-me's, this song pulled me up by my bootstraps and reminded me everything will work out just fine.  I'm still shaking my head I've fallen in love with a country song.   Check out the lyrics below while you're having a listen from the last link.  Perhaps it will resonate with you and one of your dreams like it did for me.  Sacred Sunday night wishes to you all!

What if that road that you're taking's a dead-end?

What if love leaves you all jaded and broken?

What if that limb breaks you're climbing out on?

What if it all goes wrong?

But what if it all goes right?

What if it all works out?

What if the stars line up and good love rains down?

What if you chased your dream and it changes your whole life?

Yeah, what if it all goes right?

What if that road is a beautiful slow drive?

What if that love ends up lasting a lifetime?

What if that limb holds you, oak tree strong?

What if this time nothing goes wrong? 

But what if it all goes right?

What if it all works out?

What if the stars line up and good love rains down?

What if you chased your dream and it changes your whole life?

Yeah, what if it all goes right?

What if you climb to the mountain top and touch the sky

Grab a cloud as it passes by

You might fall. You might fall,

but then again you might fly!

 

Sacred Life Sunday ~ The Holy Well

"For we are the stars.  For we sing. For we sing with our light. For we are birds made of fire. For we spread our wings over the sky. Our light is a voice. We cut a road for the soul for its journey through death." ~Passamaquoddy Indian poem

It's been an interesting week to say the least.  A friend was fine on Tuesday and died suddenly on Friday.  I was verbally assaulted by a woman's voice who never showed me her face.  After honking in irritation at a driver who most assuredly cut dangerously in front of me, I was the recipient of his middle finger.  A gal at work directed her anger towards me and in turn, I allowed it to anger me.  I found the perfect space to create a movement studio and now I just need to find the money to afford it.  Sigh...

I am more than my thoughts.  I am more than my fears.  I am more than my ego.  I am more than my expectations, assumptions and interpretations.  I am more than the events which occur around me and the ones I think happen to me. 

I am a holy well.  A deep chasm of desire, spirit and love.  I am never-ending light in a body whose time is limited.   I am a being who knows what's real and what's not.  I am a glorious mystery unraveling.  I am an expression of all that is pure and sacred appearing currently in physical form. I am a reflection of God. 

Sacred Life Sunday ~ A Wish of Grace

Profound grace paid me a visit on a bar stool last night.  And while he noticed my tears and questioned their cause, it was a moment of reckoning and self-forgiveness for me.  As I sat across from a man I once loved very much, I was struck by how far we have come from where we have been together.  There was so much hurt and anger between us a few years back that I wondered if we could ever be friends again.   The capacity we all have to hurt the ones we love is astonishing.  We also have the capacity to let love heal us. Being able to say "I'm sorry" and "Thank You" and "I love you" with just a look after all these years touched me deeply.  Thank you for looking back at me, Rick.

On this Sacred Sunday, I send a wish of grace to visit you, dear reader, when you least expect it and need it most.

Sacred Life Sunday ~ Too much and yet not enough...

My dear friend, Carla, echoes similar sentiments to mine when it comes to my writing of late.  I'm afraid I'll become complacent if I stay away too long from what I know is one of my heart's truest callings.  I have the desire to write, but I haven't made it a priority the past three weeks.  There is so much to say and yet I continue to use the excuse "there's not enough time" way too often. 

The truth is...I've never been more excited and scared of what needs to be written by me, and me alone, RIGHT NOW.  Gulp.  More to share this week.  I promise myself.  I promise you, my readers.